Truthful Tuesday at the Arkansas Capitol - LGBTQ Equality

On May 9, 2014 we saw what no one had thought possible in Arkansas for many years yet to come….the tangible first steps of marriage equality. In the time between the initial ruling and the AR Supreme Court’s issued stay while the case is pending an appeal, over 500 AR couples obtained legal marriage licenses. Many couples not only were able to legally celebrate their love for one another, they were also able to amend their children’s birth certificates allowing both parents to be legally recognized as such. It was a heady and wonderful time to see this series of events occurring that quite honestly, I could have never guessed at or hoped for as a young dyke coming out in the early 1970’s.

This case is important beyond the scope of couples wishing to marry. This case is now a historical account of how we Arkansans just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz have always had the power!

Many scoffed at Cheryl Maples when she filed this case almost on the heels of the Windsor case in the United States Supreme Court that struck down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. I personally felt that Arkansas was much further behind than the other states in regard to marriage equality. I was wrong.

Cheryl Maples with her co-counsel Jack Wagoner had no support financially or otherwise from any outside national organizations, they all too believed that Cheryl and company were tilting at windmills. They were wrong too!

And this is our lesson as Arkansans - that together we can make the changes for the equality that we need, the equality that by virtue of our birthright and our country’s constitution would seem to demand. We are required to pay taxes to a state and country that does not embrace, respect or include us in the access to equal rights and protections the same way as our fellow Arkansans and Americans are treated.  This. Is. Wrong. Before we are Arkansans, we are human beings, before we are our racial or ethnic group identities, we are human beings, before we are men or women or agendered we are human beings, before we are Americans we are human beings.

A lot has been made of the term choice by those who oppose our equality, claiming that we chose to be LGBTQ people. The reality is that the vast majority of the LGBTQ community do not choose their sexual orientation or gender identity, it is simply who we are, as inherent as our other biological traits, like the color of our eyes. What is true however, is that the people who hurt LGBTQ people with discriminatory laws and policies and those who go even further and physically attack, maim and even murder us do in fact CHOOSE this behavior. No one is born to hate, no one is born being homophobic or transphobic. Yet, from the pulpit and the legislature we continue to be attacked, keeping our communities on the defenseive trying to stop or undo these attacks. And while we may yet find ourselves forced to play a little more defense, it is time to take a stand and go on offense! To stand up and fight together for our rights!

Marriage equality is a wonderful thing for the couples who desire this right. But there are a lot of LGBTQ Arkansans for whom marriage is not an option; not old enough, haven’t met the right one, don’t care to marry, etc. Additionally for those who do marry, your marriage license does not protect you and your family in regard to employment, housing or access to public accommodations. LGBTQ Arkansans are not included in the state or national civil rights laws. Our LGBTQ youth in AR are still experiencing bullying in their schools and too many times it is school personnel who are doing the bullying.

We must also remember that if you are LGBTQ and your identity intersects with poverty, being a person of color, youth, immigrant, transgender, living with HIV, etc. then your struggle as an LGBTQ person is further compounded with the systemic difficulties that are associated with these identities.

The time is right now for LGBTQ people and our allies to continue this momentum and to address these inequalities. We. Ourselves. LGBTQ Arkansans and our amazing allies! We must create the change we so desperately need to obtain full equality under the law.

At CAR we have been working for some time with allies to build the relationships and the foundation to be a part of moving forward for this very equality. As a founding member of the Arkansans for Human and Civil Rights we have four priorities:

• Non-partisan electoral work
• Expanding the impact and efficacy of the Racial Profiling Task Force
• “Add the Words” campaign to amend the Arkansas Civil Rights law to include sexual   orientation and gender identity
• Creating a Civil Rights Commission entity for Arkansas - We are one of only three states that do not have one

The “Add the Words” campaign along with the creation of a civil rights commission not only has the potential to provide the LGBTQ community with equal rights and protections, but our efforts will support the many Arkansans who are currently included in the state’s civil rights law little means to address the civil rights violations that they encounter.

So I say to you gathered here today and all across this beautiful state that I have come to call home, the state that I love so much, where I live and raised a child. It is because of this love that I ask of you all to remember, burn this into your hearts….It is time! It is time! It is time! To….Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Our rights will not magically appear, we must stand up and refuse to take no for an answer.

It’s coming, the South is moving. We witnessed a tremendous piece of history that was made here on May 9^th, Arkansas! The first Southern state to have a legal same sex marriage, quite a few of them in fact!

But! We are not done, we have seen what is possible and we now know that NOTHING is impossible! To the state of Arkansas and its good people, remember, we are your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers and more. We too! Are Arkansas! And we are coming for our rights! Full equality! Nothing less!

Hell Froze Over in Arkansas - Again

Recently Arkansas saw a whirlwind of same sex couples rushing to courthouses around the state in an effort to enter into the bonds of matrimony with their significant other. Afraid that the courts will stay the issuance of marriage licenses, couples have had to hurry their weddings with little or no time to bring together their family and friends.

Dee Dee Coleman and Freeman Toniah - Just Married

I personally know many of these couples. My heart is filled with joy at their happiness at being able to engage in what is an American, nay, a worldwide cultural tradition. One that has been taught to us our entire childhood - that you will meet that special someone, fall in love and one day marry them. But then we grew up and discovered that if the special someone we met and fell in love with was of the same gender then it didn't really mean us.

When we came to understand this it was a painful discovery on multiple fronts. Not only could we not engage in the marriage ceremonies that were reminiscent of those we had grown up seeing all of our lives, we would also be denied all of the legal rights associated with marriage. It meant that the 1,138 civil laws that are attached to marriage are not for us, it meant that we couldn't be listed as joint parents when we have children as a couple - causing multiple parenting difficulties, it meant that we couldn't access the benefits of marriage that are provided for many employees and their spouses, it meant that we needed complicated and expensive legal documents to protect our property and family in the event one of us fell ill, or worse yet died, and it meant that despite paying the same tax dollars - we would be denied full civil and human rights.

Being denied the rights of marriage reinforces all of the rhetoric of homophobia that has made too many of our fellow Arkansans believe that it is okay to harm us with law, words and deed.  Throughout our lives we are bullied in school and even into our adult years. It is more than likely that a great many of us will suffer some form of physical harm to ourselves and/or our property. Some of us will be disowned, kicked out of our homes and far too many of us will not make it through.

The inequities that LGBTQ people face in Arkansas as well as many other parts of the country don’t stop with marriage. We are vulnerable regarding employment, housing and accessing public accommodations because we are not included in the civil rights laws of this nation, nor this state. If we are any combination of people of color, poor, transgender, immigrant, youth, or elders then our disenfranchisement as LGBTQ people is compounded by institutional oppression that squeeze our lives even harder.

The mistreatment of the LGBTQ community has been deeply rooted in political gain by those who have cloaked their avarice in scripture and holy water. They have continued to render us as an “other” - to be feared and denied equality. The reality is that the only real fear is that which LGBTQ people endure. Fear is an integral part of our lives, sometimes front and center, other times lurking in the background because you never know when someone will target you with word, law or deed. Yet despite these many struggles and barriers, we live our lives with courage and hope, for it takes fortitude to live in a world that denies you at every turn. We continue to fall in love, create our families and live and work in our communities.

As I watch the events unfolding around marriage equality my heart feels as if it will burst from all of the happiness. Couples, some with their children, laughing and smiling, saying “I do.” Tears pouring freely because at last they are able to wed, gaining all of the emotional and practical well-being that this brings to their family.

The courts will have another go before it’s all finalized in regard to marriage equality. To be sure there will sadly be those who will continue to vilify us and actively seek to deny our access to equality, using our lives and families as political footballs.

However, I am hopeful that as Arkansas bends, however grudgingly, toward the end of the moral arc of justice that our equality is within reach. It is long past the time for Arkansas to embrace all of its residents and remove the multiple barriers to full inclusion. And we as a state will ultimately be the better for it. Because we in the LGBTQ community are as we have ever been - your family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. We too are Arkansas.