A Letter to My White Sisters, Brothers, Transgender, & Gender Non-Conforming LGBTQ Community

I have been of late trying to staunch the loss of blood as my heart repeatedly shatters and bleeds out each time one of you parrots the narratives that Mike Brown and Eric Garner would not be dead if they’d just done what they were told by an officer.

As a queer Latina I understand that we are all products of our race/ethnicities, home communities, cultures, our countries of origin, abilities and religions. I intellectually understand that being queer does not mean that we are ourselves automatically immune from being perpetrators of racism, prejudice, bigotry and discriminatory behaviors. And yet, I find myself repeatedly grief stricken when white LGBTQ people take up the racist narrative that supports the death of people of color at the hands of law enforcement. That because he was a big black kid, Mike Brown somehow deserved to die, shot multiple times by a policeman and left to lie dying in the street. That Eric Garner somehow deserved to be choked to death by a banned hold. That despite the NYC coroner declaring Eric Garner’s death a homicide, somehow you can still believe that he deserved to die. Both of these encounters began with ticketing misdemeanors, jaywalking and allegedly selling single cigarettes. 

Even worse, is that you can believe that the officers involved in these deaths should be immune, that they should not have to stand trial. There’s no room for you to seriously consider that not only was there police misconduct, but there was also misconduct by the prosecutor as well. You willingly give face value to a badge as somehow automatically decreeing fair and just treatment. Worse still that you buy into a false narrative about black people and crime, but refuse to consider and examine the reality of police brutality against black people.

I have listened to white LGBTQ people repeatedly condemn these two men while vilifying the anguished rage of black people who have lashed out against a system that has repeatedly targeted their lives. And although I know the why of your thinking, a product of whiteness and the ensuing privilege of skin color; ridiculous on my part though it be, I still marvel at your lapses in memory.

LGBTQ people RIOTED because they were sick and tired of being targeted, harassed, arrested, beaten and in some cases raped by the police. Stonewall. It. Was. A. Riot. Stonewall, a bar in New York City patronized primarily by working class drag queens, transgender folks, lesbians and gay men, a great many of them people of color. On a hot summer night in June these are the ones who were a part of the infant Rainbow Revolution, those who fought back against the oppressive brutality of the police. Transgender women of color; Sylvia Rivera, Miss Major, and Marsha P. Johnson were right there in the thick of it. Before that was the Compton Cafeteria Riot where police targeted drag queens, transwomen and others. Sick and tired, they too fought back against police brutality.

Let’s not get this twisted. LGBTQ people of all hues have been historically oppressively policed, arrested and brutalized at the hands of the police. And many of us still are, right now, today. Although the reality is that LGBTQ people of color are much more likely to have a negative encounter with law enforcement; especially if they are visibly Trans, stud, or gender-nonconforming. BINGO! These are who have an increased risk of being profiled and targeted by the police. Right now. Today.

LGBTQ people in America have historically been reviled, demonized, and criminalized. We have been beaten and we have been murdered, just for being who we are. We have been stopped and terrorized by the police again and again, simply for being who we are. We have been disowned from our families and churches, fired from our jobs, evicted from our homes, refused services - simply for being who we are. Just for being who we are, something that the vast majority of us can no more choose than choosing the color of one’s skin.

As LGBTQ people we have had to beg and plead for straight people to learn about us, to understand that we too are human beings; that our families are valuable and that we have the same needs of living wage jobs, education access, housing, health care, etc. We continuously plead with straight people to not assume that they know us based on what Fred Phelps, Jerry Cox, Pat Robertson, etc. say about us. Right now, today there is a minister in Arizona who is proclaiming from his pulpit that ALL LGBTQ people should be put to death. We as LGBTQ people are still locked in a fight for equality. And while marriage equality is grand, it doesn’t help us all. A legal same sex marriage will not protect employment, housing and public accommodations. Despite being more accepted by society, we are STILL NOT EQUAL under the law.

We still are not being treated equally by many of our fellow Americans. And many of us are still profiled and targeted by the police. Our LGBTQ kids are still killing themselves in the face of the violence and bullying they endure, the hallways of their schools are still battlefields, they are still being kicked out of their homes or running away from them trying to save themselves.

But. We have also had enough white people in our ranks with the money and power to begin shifting slowly but surely the narrative of who we are as LGBTQ people. Although that narrative has more often than not excluded LGBTQ people of color in an effort intentional or otherwise, to more solidly proclaim the defining mantra “We are just like you!”

And let’s not forget that within the LGBTQ community there is racial profiling, transphobia, classism, etc. There is bigotry, prejudice and discrimination against one another. We absolutely have to do better in our own house! And there must be an intentional examination of the learned values that perpetuates the blindness of white LGBTQ people to the real struggles of people of color. Because right now the way I see it, it’s a bunch of folks sitting in a sinking boat, throwing rocks at other folks in their sinking boat. And we are all going to drown together if we don’t start holding one another up, teaching each other how to swim in our various truths.

No. Just stop right there. Don’t come at me with that mess that black people are the most homophobic, because that it also another ugly stereotype, a myth. I will be glad to sit down with you and start calling all these fine white churches and asking them what they think on the subject. The reality is that across the board white, black, brown, etc., homo/transphobia is a reality for some of those folks. But it is not all of any of them. Think about it, if white LGBTQ people buy into the myth that black people are the most homo/transphobic, the only thing that belief system supports is a deeper divide between folks who might all get further along on the equality trail if they figured out how to help each other.  

It’s true some people are criminals. And they can be found in all groups across the board; racial/ethnic, LGBTQ, gender, age, economic status, immigrant, etc. It’s also true that depending on what group you belong to, you will likely be policed differently.  It's also true that the group that you belong to does not mean that you have am encoded genetic predisposition to become a criminal or a sexual predator, or child molester. 

The reality is that LGBTQ people are suffering. Black people are suffering. In the end, both of us want the same things. The only way we can get there is for each individual to be willing to listen, to do some work to better understand the other person’s perspective, to make room for the truth being told, and to not buy into the rhetoric. It’s hard to overcome a lifetime of thinking. We as LGBTQ people see how hard many straight people, especially people of faith are struggling to overcome that indoctrination about our community. And we see how many of them are in fact doing the hard, often painful work. We also see how many of them cling to their stereotypes, myths and outright lies about us.

In the end, that’s all that I’m asking here, for more white LGBTQ people to consider for themselves taking on the hard work to listen and to learn and to strive to overcome the ways that racism subconsciously and consciously fuels your thinking and actions. Although this letter may feel harsh, know that it is written in love for all of my beloved community. It is because of my profound and deepest love for us as a people that I have written this. If it stings, I ask that you sit with it before you respond, think on it, re-read it. Ask yourself why you feel stung. Then decide if you will choose indignation and anger or if you are ready to roll up your sleeves. We need us all.

NOTE: I have written this referencing the current issues of black people and law enforcement in the media. But this narrative of police brutality is not limited to LGBTQ people. It includes Latino, Indigenous and Asian/Pacific Islanders who are also more likely to be targeted by the police than whites .

Black Lives Matter and Beyond...

CAR stands in solidarity against the legalization, justification, and exoneration of criminal acts committed by all too many of this nation’s law enforcement officers. With deep sadness and grief, we at CAR lament the unwillingness of the legal system to hold police officers accountable for violent and all too many times fatal interactions with the citizenry that they are sworn to serve and protect. We mourn the needless loss of life, families left without their children and children left without their fathers. We are aggrieved at the disproportionate rates that people of color are targeted and their communities over policed. Young Black and Latino men bear the brunt of this and are literally being policed to death. 

The "broken windows" approach seeking out low level offenders as a means of deterring larger criminal acts is utilized in many poor communities, primarily communities of color. This inequitable model of policing only serves to drive families deeper into poverty and in many cases ruins lives. No one is asking the question, "Why are windows in poor communities broken in the first place? Why is there not an effort to repair windows rather than shattering hopes and dreams? Where is the critical thinking and efforts to dismantle the racism and classim, the assumption of privilege that leaves black and brown lives cast in a constant negative narrative? How did we get to a place where it is okay to constantly confront people of color on the whim of “suspicion” and for police to kill unarmed suspects?” 

The truth of the matter is that as a nation, this has always been the way of many white people and their treatment of people of color. Violence, even unto death has repeatedly been the answer in owning, controlling and policing the bodies of people of color. The systemic terrorizing and lynching of Black people in the South and Latinos in the Southwest, where photos were taken and sold as post cards while white families picnicked under the body roped to a tree. Smiling faces for the cameras, including women and children, enjoying a day out at these horrific events.

November 29th is the 150th anniversary of the massacre at Sand Creek, where over 200 Cheyenne and Arapaho, women, children and old men were slaughtered and literally butchered by 700 U.S. Cavalry Troops. Their body parts including genitalia and their scalps were taken to cities and paraded for show. 

In November as Sand Creek is remembered, when at long last the Governor of Colorado formally apologized to the descendants of this massacre, there came the news that Darren Wilson, the Ferguson police officer who shot Mike Brown to death would not stand trial. He would walk free. On December 1st we learned that officer Joseph Weekly of the Detroit police department would see manslaughter charges dropped for his killing a seven year old girl as she lay sleeping. On December 3rd came the news that an NYPD officer, Daniel Pantaleo will also not be indicted. This despite the city coroner ruling the death of Eric Garner a homicide and Pantaleo is seen clearly on video utilizing a banned choke hold. These are but a tiny portion of the deaths at the hands of police officers across the country.

America remains bound in the clutches of it bloody, racist history. We are not so far removed from the days when the brutal mistreatment of people of color was not only encouraged, but perfectly legal. Law enforcement has historically contained an element that focused on keeping people of color in their place. The reality is that many police forces evolved from efforts to specifically police slaves and indigenous people. The St. Louis Police Department was originally created to protect the town from the first people of color, Indigenous People. New York, Connecticut, Virginia, etc. enacted laws to criminalize and police slaves starting in the 1600’s. Congress itself passed fugitive slave laws. Many Southern police forces began as slave patrols. The Texas Rangers were formed to protect white families from Indigenous People and Mexicans who were trying to retain their lands. African descended, Indigenous, Latino and Asian-Pacific Islanders have all been unfairly targeted and policed in this country. And this disparate, racially biased policing is no-where near over.

It’s only been 50 years since the Voting Rights Act was signed into law. In 2013 we saw important provisions of the act gutted by the U.S. Supreme Court, a move that led to multiple states immediately engaging in actions that would disenfranchise more voters, especially voters of color.

For-profit prisons trade on the stock market, to make money - they need bodies to fill their beds. In some cases they are charging states where they are based if beds go unfilled. A mighty incentive to ensure that there is a growing prison population. Leading right back to controlling the bodies of those who have historically been a critical part of this country’s economic system. 

We have not as a country been engaged in a war on crime, a war on drugs; it’s been a war on the poor and a war on people of color, the immigrant, the LGBTQ and all others who don’t fit the mold created in America’s melting pot. While white immigrants, even those who were initially treated badly were able to eventually assimilate based on skin color, a lot of other folks didn’t melt into the pot. Those of us in our differences, we continued to be targets of unjust laws, unjust policing, terror and at times death. 

So how do we change things? How do we gather the courage to sit with one another, to listen to one another, to hear the humanity of our beings, the common needs that we all share? How do we protect ourselves and one another from the profiling that happens not only at the hands of the police, but between ourselves? How do we ourselves in our beloved communities dismantle our own prejudices in order to stand with one another, creating the voice of giants, lifting up a groundswell, calling for justice? 

If we truly care about justice, we must move out of the framework that casts the personal into a narrative that reflects the politics of “just us” in the pursuit of liberation. We can and we must do better. We must be willing to listen to the truth, the history of where we have been and the reality of today. We must remember to keep the act of love in the midst of the revolution, for if naught, we are no better than those who withhold the cup of fairness and equality from our own lips. Here at CAR along with our many Allies, we believe that together, we can and we will - be the change that we seek.

Radio Broadcast of My Short Story - Fireworks

As it appears on Tales From the South:

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/tales-from-the-south/e/tfts220-flying-solo-november-17-2014-36008820?refid=stpr&autoplay=true

Seamless

I've ripped 
them all 
these seams
that long held
the "what is"
stitch by stitch
tugging at safe
til it's off the rails
with the whole 
of my might
tearing it 
wide open
this place of 
"what if" 
flinging my 
dreams 
come true 
to hang 
amongst 
the stars with 
a thumb out
hitching a ride
on the tail of
a comet's
fiery blaze 
an indelible 
promise of 
my heart's 
desire...
Yet to come



October 4, 2014

PEACE

Paramedics rolled up

lights flashing

sirens wailing and

in a blur of motion

they hit the ground

running hard

shouting for help

cause Peace is dying

drawing her last breath

I stood in the hall

watching in shock

as they rolled her

past me

she looked

done in

the blood was

everywhere

it took my breath

to see her injured so

such gaping wounds

how could she live

would she live

I followed them

to her cubicle

where

in a frenzy the

doctors worked

to save her life

seemed like days

passed us by as

we stood vigil

in waiting

to see if she,

we, the world, was

doomed

And then at long last

there was quite

as the docs

stepped back and

said,” We’ve done

all there is to do”

we can only pray

that she’ll come

through and rejoin

the living

I sat by her bed

all through the

night, casting

prayers to the

heavens, asking

for a little longer

to keep her with

us all, to cover us

with her smile and

embrace us in the

warmth of her heart

She caught me at my

praying, looking hard

at me through her

swollen eyes and

mumbled something

that was hard to hear

I leaned in closer to

listen to what she had

to say and this is

what I heard

Go head on and

pray if you must

but I gotta tell you its

praying that is at the heart

of my hurt,

the knife in my back

the bomb at your door

the silent killer

Don’t you see

everyone thinking

that their God is

the best, the brightest

the rightest and

they act on it

everyday in ways

that drive me to

my knees, reeling

from the assault

of a world gone mad

all In the name

of God

all through time

carrying on

saying and doing

“My God is bigger

than your God”

shields emblazoned with red crosses

death to the infidels

“May God bless us

Everyone”

“My God is bigger

than your God”

burning non-believing

heathens

at the stake for

their heresy

tearing down the temples

“Glory to God”

“My God is bigger

than your God”

line up for the

showers all you

Jews, Gypsies and Queers as we

clean up a nation

“Sieg Heil my God”

“My God is Bigger

than your God”

and His book says

that I may own you

all aboard in

iron bracelets

headed for the

land of cotton

“Praise Gawd”

“My God is bigger

than your God”

and to prove it

I’m gonna blow

up your people

bulldoze their homes

leaving nothing but

bloody rubble

“Shalom”

“My God is bigger

than your God”

so I’m gonna strap

on explosives and

march right into

that crowded cafe

Boom! Boom! and

“Allah is Great”

“My God is bigger

than your God”

and that lets me

shoot up your

Protestant school

its okay if children

die to prove

God’s might

“Hail Mary full

of Grace”

“My God is bigger

than your God”

and with my good

right arm I’ll

launch a fiery

cocktail through

your Papist

mother’s window

she’s dancing now

burn baby burn

“Amen and Amen”

Gasping for breath

Peace fell back on

her pillows, tears

coursing down

her face, her monitors

sounding the alarm

Now barely a whisper

she told of

Sikhs and Hindus

Christians and Muslims

Buddists and Hindus Orthodox Christians

and Muslims

Catholics and Protestants

Hindus and Muslims

the combinations

pouring like a river

from her mouth

filling the room

with wave after wave

of all the violence

done to Peace and

her people

in the name of God

Peace grabbed

my hand and whispered

in a voice ragged

with the grief

of the world

pray if you must

pray for us all

but do it quietly

for the sound of

praying is breaking

my heart....

 Randi M. Romo © 2002

Half Past Love

This watch

tells time

decorates

my wrist

weighty

in its gold

and silver

presence

but it’s neither

jewelry nor

timekeeper

it’s forgiveness

the first taste

of understanding

its an exhale

a moment

when I knew

that my mother

truly saw me

when shopping

one day she

took me - her

only daughter

to the counter

where men

shop for watches

and helped me

pick out this

watch that tells

time very well

both hands

pointing

right at

love thirty...

Truthful Tuesday at the Arkansas Capitol - LGBTQ Equality

On May 9, 2014 we saw what no one had thought possible in Arkansas for many years yet to come….the tangible first steps of marriage equality. In the time between the initial ruling and the AR Supreme Court’s issued stay while the case is pending an appeal, over 500 AR couples obtained legal marriage licenses. Many couples not only were able to legally celebrate their love for one another, they were also able to amend their children’s birth certificates allowing both parents to be legally recognized as such. It was a heady and wonderful time to see this series of events occurring that quite honestly, I could have never guessed at or hoped for as a young dyke coming out in the early 1970’s.

This case is important beyond the scope of couples wishing to marry. This case is now a historical account of how we Arkansans just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz have always had the power!

Many scoffed at Cheryl Maples when she filed this case almost on the heels of the Windsor case in the United States Supreme Court that struck down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. I personally felt that Arkansas was much further behind than the other states in regard to marriage equality. I was wrong.

Cheryl Maples with her co-counsel Jack Wagoner had no support financially or otherwise from any outside national organizations, they all too believed that Cheryl and company were tilting at windmills. They were wrong too!

And this is our lesson as Arkansans - that together we can make the changes for the equality that we need, the equality that by virtue of our birthright and our country’s constitution would seem to demand. We are required to pay taxes to a state and country that does not embrace, respect or include us in the access to equal rights and protections the same way as our fellow Arkansans and Americans are treated.  This. Is. Wrong. Before we are Arkansans, we are human beings, before we are our racial or ethnic group identities, we are human beings, before we are men or women or agendered we are human beings, before we are Americans we are human beings.

A lot has been made of the term choice by those who oppose our equality, claiming that we chose to be LGBTQ people. The reality is that the vast majority of the LGBTQ community do not choose their sexual orientation or gender identity, it is simply who we are, as inherent as our other biological traits, like the color of our eyes. What is true however, is that the people who hurt LGBTQ people with discriminatory laws and policies and those who go even further and physically attack, maim and even murder us do in fact CHOOSE this behavior. No one is born to hate, no one is born being homophobic or transphobic. Yet, from the pulpit and the legislature we continue to be attacked, keeping our communities on the defenseive trying to stop or undo these attacks. And while we may yet find ourselves forced to play a little more defense, it is time to take a stand and go on offense! To stand up and fight together for our rights!

Marriage equality is a wonderful thing for the couples who desire this right. But there are a lot of LGBTQ Arkansans for whom marriage is not an option; not old enough, haven’t met the right one, don’t care to marry, etc. Additionally for those who do marry, your marriage license does not protect you and your family in regard to employment, housing or access to public accommodations. LGBTQ Arkansans are not included in the state or national civil rights laws. Our LGBTQ youth in AR are still experiencing bullying in their schools and too many times it is school personnel who are doing the bullying.

We must also remember that if you are LGBTQ and your identity intersects with poverty, being a person of color, youth, immigrant, transgender, living with HIV, etc. then your struggle as an LGBTQ person is further compounded with the systemic difficulties that are associated with these identities.

The time is right now for LGBTQ people and our allies to continue this momentum and to address these inequalities. We. Ourselves. LGBTQ Arkansans and our amazing allies! We must create the change we so desperately need to obtain full equality under the law.

At CAR we have been working for some time with allies to build the relationships and the foundation to be a part of moving forward for this very equality. As a founding member of the Arkansans for Human and Civil Rights we have four priorities:

• Non-partisan electoral work
• Expanding the impact and efficacy of the Racial Profiling Task Force
• “Add the Words” campaign to amend the Arkansas Civil Rights law to include sexual   orientation and gender identity
• Creating a Civil Rights Commission entity for Arkansas - We are one of only three states that do not have one

The “Add the Words” campaign along with the creation of a civil rights commission not only has the potential to provide the LGBTQ community with equal rights and protections, but our efforts will support the many Arkansans who are currently included in the state’s civil rights law little means to address the civil rights violations that they encounter.

So I say to you gathered here today and all across this beautiful state that I have come to call home, the state that I love so much, where I live and raised a child. It is because of this love that I ask of you all to remember, burn this into your hearts….It is time! It is time! It is time! To….Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Our rights will not magically appear, we must stand up and refuse to take no for an answer.

It’s coming, the South is moving. We witnessed a tremendous piece of history that was made here on May 9^th, Arkansas! The first Southern state to have a legal same sex marriage, quite a few of them in fact!

But! We are not done, we have seen what is possible and we now know that NOTHING is impossible! To the state of Arkansas and its good people, remember, we are your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers and more. We too! Are Arkansas! And we are coming for our rights! Full equality! Nothing less!

Hell Froze Over in Arkansas - Again

Recently Arkansas saw a whirlwind of same sex couples rushing to courthouses around the state in an effort to enter into the bonds of matrimony with their significant other. Afraid that the courts will stay the issuance of marriage licenses, couples have had to hurry their weddings with little or no time to bring together their family and friends.

Dee Dee Coleman and Freeman Toniah - Just Married

I personally know many of these couples. My heart is filled with joy at their happiness at being able to engage in what is an American, nay, a worldwide cultural tradition. One that has been taught to us our entire childhood - that you will meet that special someone, fall in love and one day marry them. But then we grew up and discovered that if the special someone we met and fell in love with was of the same gender then it didn't really mean us.

When we came to understand this it was a painful discovery on multiple fronts. Not only could we not engage in the marriage ceremonies that were reminiscent of those we had grown up seeing all of our lives, we would also be denied all of the legal rights associated with marriage. It meant that the 1,138 civil laws that are attached to marriage are not for us, it meant that we couldn't be listed as joint parents when we have children as a couple - causing multiple parenting difficulties, it meant that we couldn't access the benefits of marriage that are provided for many employees and their spouses, it meant that we needed complicated and expensive legal documents to protect our property and family in the event one of us fell ill, or worse yet died, and it meant that despite paying the same tax dollars - we would be denied full civil and human rights.

Being denied the rights of marriage reinforces all of the rhetoric of homophobia that has made too many of our fellow Arkansans believe that it is okay to harm us with law, words and deed.  Throughout our lives we are bullied in school and even into our adult years. It is more than likely that a great many of us will suffer some form of physical harm to ourselves and/or our property. Some of us will be disowned, kicked out of our homes and far too many of us will not make it through.

The inequities that LGBTQ people face in Arkansas as well as many other parts of the country don’t stop with marriage. We are vulnerable regarding employment, housing and accessing public accommodations because we are not included in the civil rights laws of this nation, nor this state. If we are any combination of people of color, poor, transgender, immigrant, youth, or elders then our disenfranchisement as LGBTQ people is compounded by institutional oppression that squeeze our lives even harder.

The mistreatment of the LGBTQ community has been deeply rooted in political gain by those who have cloaked their avarice in scripture and holy water. They have continued to render us as an “other” - to be feared and denied equality. The reality is that the only real fear is that which LGBTQ people endure. Fear is an integral part of our lives, sometimes front and center, other times lurking in the background because you never know when someone will target you with word, law or deed. Yet despite these many struggles and barriers, we live our lives with courage and hope, for it takes fortitude to live in a world that denies you at every turn. We continue to fall in love, create our families and live and work in our communities.

As I watch the events unfolding around marriage equality my heart feels as if it will burst from all of the happiness. Couples, some with their children, laughing and smiling, saying “I do.” Tears pouring freely because at last they are able to wed, gaining all of the emotional and practical well-being that this brings to their family.

The courts will have another go before it’s all finalized in regard to marriage equality. To be sure there will sadly be those who will continue to vilify us and actively seek to deny our access to equality, using our lives and families as political footballs.

However, I am hopeful that as Arkansas bends, however grudgingly, toward the end of the moral arc of justice that our equality is within reach. It is long past the time for Arkansas to embrace all of its residents and remove the multiple barriers to full inclusion. And we as a state will ultimately be the better for it. Because we in the LGBTQ community are as we have ever been - your family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. We too are Arkansas.

When the Music Plays

When I hear

Santana

I know what

the music

smells like

as it dances

across

sweet brown skin

slipping and

flowing into

that warm

drowning place

where the valley

begins

and the moon

shines

bright

enough

to light

up the sun

The Expected of Unexpected Flights

Among a snowbank

of hospital blankets

she lay as still

and as small as

I’d ever seen

this giant of a woman

who would forever be

my greatest love

my worst adversary

my ultimate teacher

my most wounded heart

my everything…

my mother

Her heart it seems

tried to dubstep

not so good it appears

if you’re all of 77

so there she lay

sleeping off the happy

shot of the heart cath

while I tried to slow

the galloping terrors

that my own heart

insisted upon riding

from the moment the

call came to me as

I sat at my desk over

900 miles away from

the scene of her heart’s

misadventure that

had detoured

her planned excursion

to Sonny’s bar-b-q

her favorite place

for ribs

I stroked her hair that

was no longer the shade

of black that had often

seemed to be blue

in some winks of light

now with the years

becoming a crown

of elder's grey

I wanted to climb into

the very bed with her

to calm my roiling fears

to reassure us both

that it would be alright

instead I stood with her

hand wrapped in mine

She awoke at my touch

and admonished me

for having come so far

insisting that she was

more than fine that it

had only been a hiccup

but I knew I saw it in her

eyes what it meant that

I was there that I wanted

to be right there

We've a complicated

story - she and I

one of gargantuan

mistakes and almost

irreconcilable offenses

filled with unimaginable

pain and longing that

that in times past I’d

never dared to hope that

we’d recover from it all

yet somehow…we did

albeit in our twilight

My mom and I are

a testimony to the power

of the heart and its

ability to heal against

insurmountable odds

I reminded myself of this

as I leaned in and

kissed her cheek

and I told her

“Hey pretty gurl

don’t you worry

we got this”

                                                                                                                     Randi M. Romo (c) 2/2014