Home is Where the Rooster Crows

My mother lives and works in a rural agricultural farmworker community that sits on the outskirts of Dade City, Florida. I love to go home to visit, this place where I too have lived and worked. But no matter how often I go home, it always takes me a bit to adjust to the sounds. There are cars going by on the street, just outside the window with their stereos blasting Mexican music. It’s always the whine followed by the quick riffs of the accordion that you hear first. Sometimes it's other folk who come driving through and the bass rattles the windows, boom, boom and you can feel it all the way into the back of your teeth. Sirens at intervals punctuate the days and nights, their piercing cries a sharp reminder that it’s not only angels who walk among us. And every now and then a sheriff's car rockets down the main street of this little community so fast it lifts shirt tails and blows back your hair,  

There’s lots of people who walk in this neighborhood; workers going to and from work, mothers with strollers and little ones tagging behind, teens trying to hold themselves at just the right angle to be considered cool enough and elders out for constitutions. Calls of buenos dias along with the ensuing conversations fall like sporadic spring showers as people pass one another. Yes, it’s a tough neighborhood, but manners still matter.

The taco stand across from my mom's house stays busy. Cars and trucks pull in and out, doors slamming throughout the day as people stop by for food. You can get the best agua frescas there. I like the sandia the best. They also have my favorite tacos, barbacoa con cilantro, lime and onion with just the perfect salsa verde on freshly made hot corn tortillas. On Sundays the men line up for their menudo to counter the cruda from their celebrations of the night before. The covered picnic tables in front of the trailer are filled with people eating, talking and laughing. Children dart between the tables and race around the little stand. An errant dog picks its way carefully between the feet and legs at the tables searching for bits of food that may have fallen to the ground.

Serving as a backdrop to the Sunday ritual at the taco trailer is a mixture of Mexican music from nearby houses and cars driving by as well as the small African-American centric church on the opposite corner. The church has a speaker wired up outside and they broadcast their services. The musicians and singers are quite good. And it is in the midst of all this cacophony that I feel it most, this is home.  

But I must confess that there is one bit of noise that no matter where I have encountered it, I have never become accustomed to it; the crowing of a rooster. At home it is not uncommon for there to be various broods of chickens ranging about different parts of the community. Despite her claims that they are not her chickens, one such brood has taken up residence in my mother’s backyard, accompanied by their very own rooster.

This past trip home, a very rude and overly ambitious rooster crowed me awake every morning around two am. Once he stopped I would eventually fall back asleep, whereupon he would almost immediately begin his next round of crowing. It was as if he had a little chicken spy peering in the side of the blinds giving him the signal of when to commence again. Talk about your “peeps”!

I truly desire to bring none harm, but I fear that had I not left and returned to my own home when I did that there may have well been a rooster gone missing. And if any thought to notice the absence of Señor Gallo, that loud, raucous early morning songster, I would have smiled serenely as I ladled out servings of a delicious pollo en mole pobalno.

We The People

The U.S. has had a long history of separating out some of its residents and treating them as less than. In some cases actively causing harm and/or death as well as legislating against them. Indigenous people, Africans and their descendants, people of different faiths, Asian Pacific Islanders, various immigrant groups, women, Latinos, etc. And in each and every case, it has ultimately been acknowledged that the treatment of these and other groups was oppressive, unwarranted, cruel and inhumane. 

An often overlooked fact, despite being a critical lynchpin to an analysis, is the fact that various manifestations of organized religion has in every single case of these occurrences been a significant part of the foundation for the justification of the systemic oppression, harm and even murder of different groups. Example: The concept of Manifest Destiny. The idea that white men had a divine destiny to expand across America.

Today the LGBTQ community struggles to be equal under the law, just as so many others have before us. And yet, despite all of the historical examples and the knowledge that this country has been rife with harmful, even deadly prejudicial discrimination the discriminatory practices and laws continue.  And as it has harmed so many others, organized religion (not all but enough) continues to serve as a foundation for oppression.

“We the People” -  it means ALL of the people!

You Can't Undo Dead.

My heart is so broken over this newest incident of mass murder. I've had to just be quiet with it for a bit. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of all who lost their children and family members in CT last Friday.

How in the hell does anyone shoot a six year old 11 times? I cannot begin to imagine the suffering and sorrow of those families and that town. And at the same time I am angry! I am so freaking pissed off! Because this was not the first time such a shooting occurred and at this rate it certainly won't be the last!

There have been SIXTY TWO (62) mass shootings in the past 30 years. With a total of 959 victims who were either murdered or injured. That's NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY NINE HUMAN BEINGS!! And the majority of the shooters got their weapons legally. (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map) For me the deeper horror beyond the immediate acts is that these events continue to happen and they are accelerating in occurrences at an alarming rate. But despite this knowledge we as a nation still do not address the dual cause, a lack of accessible quality mental health/addiction care that includes as needed long term residential treatment and the ready access to the kinds of weapons exacting such carnage.

I know there are those who resist the idea of restricting and regulating further the access to certain types of weapons. They argue that they are responsible gun owners. Just as I'm sure Adam Lanza's mother most likely considered herself to be as well as other family's whose guns were stolen to commit a mass shooting. You must admit there is something very wrong with the fact that we can get such a weapon far more easily than we can get competent mental health care. There is no denying that as our mental health system access has disintegrated our rates of these kind of shootings have grown. 

As the parent of a child with extremely debilitating mental health issues I have long seen firsthand the disparity of access to mental health care, particularly for low-income and uninsured families. For years the mental health system has been systematically dismantled closing the vast majority of long term treatment facilities. For those dealing with mental health issues by self-medicating there are even less resources that focus on a duality program of mental health and drug and/or alcohol addiction. (http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/272-39/15054-americas-dangerously-gutted-mental-healthcare-system)

Five of the world's top ten weapons manufacturers are American companies. So, I'm pretty sure we know why the NRA keeps pushing the lie that our rights as Americans are intrinsically tied to the need to own assault rifles, large ammo magazines and other rapid fire weapons. During the time this country had an assault weapons ban gun manufacturers modified many of their products to evade the law and still sell high powered rapid fire weapons. These same manufacturers also lobbied incessantly to have the ban removed. A new and effective ban on these kind of weapons will take guts, strict laws and enforcement. Other countries are doing it. Why can't we, a world leader, stop this violence in our own back yard? To date, from where I sit...it looks like it's because the NRA, the weapon manufacturers and the politicians that they own are simply not going to allow this to happen.

I have no idea why we as a country are so enamored with the idea that we must  own assault weapons. Seriously! Why do we need handguns that can rapidly fire multiple rounds of high powered ammo? Other than the military and law enforcement to what end do we really need these? I'm sick to death of hearing about "the criminals have them and we need to be comparably armed". Seriously? In most cases people with guns are at a high risk of having them stolen or in the event of a crime, taken from them and used against them. And the reality is that if you ever, ever find yourself in a situation where you need an assault rifle or a semi-automatic handgun with maximum capacity magazines chances are you won't be where the gun is or we have been invaded by foreign interests using guns instead of the current weapon of choice, banks. We certainly are not in danger of being unable to hunt given the various rifles that can be used quite suitably for that purpose without having the capacity to kill scores of people all at once.

Our country has eviscerated our mental health system allowing folks who do these kinds of shootings to fall through the cracks. We keep being told there isn't enough, despite the fact that we are one of the wealthiest nations in the world. We can't afford to take care of our citizens, but we can continue to purchase and disperse billions of dollars in weaponry as we continue our armed conflicts.

Me. I'm a gun owner. I love to shoot. But there is nothing I do or ever hope to do that requires assault weapons or semi-automatic handguns with large clips of ammo. And I bet you all of those who had family members murdered or injured in this newest mass shooting can't begin to imagine why we ever needed such weapons either.

What is wrong with our society that we love the idea of freedom to own these kinds of weapons, these inanimate objects more than we love the actual people; living breathing children, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, etc. How do we justify the need to own these weapons in the face of all of the deaths of innocents from them? What is wrong with this country that we love war more than we care about taking care of our citizens who are in need of care?

I wonder how these NRA folks, the weapon manufacturers, our congress members and the gun fanatics who have chugged the kool-aid would really feel about these guns availability and the lack of mental health care access if they were crouched inside a cubby listening to the pop, pop, pop of gunfire as their friends and teachers were being murdered. How would they feel sitting there, hiding and waiting for that terrible moment when the shooter finds them...what if it were their children they had to go and claim from the morgue? Dead is dead. There are no I'm sorry's. There are no do overs. There's just dead. 

We must hold our elected officials accountable, the means for mental health care must be found. And if you really, really need to have access to such guns, go join the military and in the meantime let's stop this madness. Literally.

Creation

"Queer people have two creation stories. The one of their emergence from the birth canal and the other when they tell the truth about their identity. And like any birth, we can live or die in either of those moments." ~Romo~

TAMO

What a journey this has been! A bittersweet sampler of grief, renewal, enduring love and the joyous rediscovery of self. Some times we can get caught up and lose ourselves in another's journey. We don't mean to and they don't mean for us to, yet without our realizing it, we find ourselves lost.

All of our lives we have been programmed to believe that if you just have love, it will be enough to see you through anything. I don't believe that's quite true anymore. Yes, love is critically important to the equation. But sometimes a love can be so great and undeniable, yet still not enough ultimately in all of the factors that dictate how we relate to each other as human beings. Especially as couples.

Love often means that one or both in a relationship will have to sacrifice some significant aspect of their dreams, hopes and desires in order to compromise and keep the relationship afloat. Often times these sacrifices are the first toll of the death knell for the relationship. It's hard to negotiate the desires of self while balancing the desires of the other person while having to juggle the stability of the "we".

Regrettably we often fail to discuss before hand in detail the nuts and bolts of the how to be a couple; the wants, dreams, desires, how to handle money, where to live, the long range vision of the future, etc... Instead we willingly fling ourselves headlong with wild abandon into love's deepest pool. Only to find after the fact that we can't swim and no one thought to bring along a life jacket.

Despite these hardships, the near drowning, we don't give up on love nor do we give up on trying. It is for most of us in our nature to love and to desire love and to seek love. It's what we do with it afterwards that always seems to be the struggle.

As I have traversed this journey that began in loss, it often seemed an insurmountable pain, a mortal wound. And then one day it was easier and I could breathe again, my heart resumed its faithful beat; peace flowed though my veins, immersing my soul and mind and I knew that I was more than okay.

A greater gift was the discovery that despite the grieving, the anger, hurt and pain, the love itself was still true. Sometimes something "just is", it may not look anything like what we originally thought we wanted, but it's a grand thing to realize that different isn't worse or bad. In some cases, different can be just fine!

And the Thunder Rolls...

Laying abed listening to the early morning thunder rumbling, the steady booming waves of sound that are rattling my eyes open; I am struck by the thought, "Is this how some think the voice of God sounds?" And then my brain is off running down rabbit trails of thought about God(s) and those who follow.

I've often thought that organized religion has come to be a sanctuary, a seat of power for far too many who's intentions for the flock are less than altruistic. In fact I'd go so far as to say that given the history of the Christian church with its recorded truth of centuries of misdeeds that include the systematic subjugation of women and children, countless wars, torture, rape, murder, theft of property, etc. this must certainly be true. If one thinks about all of the harm committed against innocents by those in clerical garb it is easy to believe that these bastions of Christ have been regularly co-opted by self-serving sadists, pedophiles, serial killers, murderers, thieves, and war mongers blighting the true believers with their chicanery. Robed and garbed in their sanctimony they stand aloof from the suffering they've dealt, their prayers bloody utterances of doom to the unsuspecting believers reaching even beyond to those of other religious persuasions or non at all.

From these big thoughts there's another turn down the rabbit burrow leading to a smaller, select population of those whose lives have been made difficult by the bias propagated by the Christian church; lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people (LGBTQ). This group is the very last group of people that continues to be legally disenfranchised in the U.S. on the basis of religious beliefs. Our civil rights (those given by the government) continuously abridged by churches. Families, friends, employers, and many more swayed by purveyors of the "good book" standing in pulpits cherry picking the Bible as if it were an armory. With fervent exhortations these supposed people of God call on our loved ones to have faith in an unseen deity and to deny that which is tangible - the reality of our humanity and our suffering at their prayer laden hands.

Maybe it's the pouring rain, maybe the cumulative effects of the past week, but all I want to do is weep. I mourn for the countless members of this community who have been victims of one of the greatest weapons of mass destruction, the Bible. Disowned by their families, broken hearted, tortured in the hall ways of their schools, those who succumbed to addiction to self-medicate the pain, the terrified, the many who took their own lives, the many more beaten, abused and far too many murdered.

It all defies the concept of a loving God and his/her disciples. And yet, in my momentary despair I am reminded and thankful for those churches and people of faith who have rejected this holy war campaign against LGBTQ people. The many wonderful faithful who have embraced us, who tend our wounded hearts, who champion our rights. I am grateful for those churches who welcome the LGBTQ community in their midst, allowing them to remain connected to their faith. For me, Christianity stole my mother and my brothers from me for far too many years of my life. I have a hard time sitting in churches. But I don't feel that I am without spiritual comfort, my beliefs and spirituality simply do not rely on a church pew to sustain my soul.

 But even in that moment of joy the painful reality intrudes, we of the LGBTQ community are still so long from deliverance. Before this is done, there will be more bullies, more parental rejections, more suffering, more harm, more murders, more suicides all because there still remains the religious who campaign so ruthlessly, so relentlessly against our rights and it would seem, our very lives. And for the millionth time I wonder who is God really talking to? I wish I knew, but I can't say as the rumbling outside continues and there's no translation as the thunder rolls.

Could We Just be Civil About Civil Rights?

“Today I have seen those who claim to be Christ's followers proudly shroud themselves in a mantle of their own defined Christian bigotry believing it to be impenetrable to the mighty wheels of justice. And like all before us we will not rest until we are each and every one equal!” ~Romo~

LGBTQ people calling out those who fund efforts to keep us from civil rights and calling out the efforts to legalize the execution of LGBTQ in another country is NOT an attack on Christianity or free speech. But at the same time let’s be very clear. We are engaging in our own right to free speech and calling out the systemic bigotry that has dictated our lack of full access to protections and inclusion in civil right laws.

We are indeed discussing issues of civil rights in regard to access and retention of employment, housing, and access to public accommodations such as restaurants, doctors, hotels, theaters, etc. It is legal to deny us these things based on our sexual orientation or gender identity. And let’s not forget that there are over 1,138 rights granted by federal laws tied to marriage making this very plainly an issue of civil rights!

Christians in America are not being bullied and beaten up in their schools for their religion; they are not denied access to jobs, places to live, or stores based on their beliefs. They aren't savagely beaten and even murdered because of who they are. Christian youth aren't being thrown out of their homes by their parents. These young people aren't killing themselves in unprecedented numbers because no one accepts their sexual orientation or gender identity.

But this is what happens to LGBTQ people, every single day in America. And it is the mentality of those who commit these heinous acts that is very much supported by the donations of folks like this company's owner.

Church's and their members if they feel compelled to make laws can make all they want for their church. But when it comes to the civil rights of American tax payers all religions need to stay in their own house and deal with their own back yard. We don’t want to make laws for your churches, we don’t want to take away your right to worship as you choose, heck we don’t even want to force you to stop being homophobic. We don’t want to force your churches to marry us. But what we do ask, no what we INSIST on is that churches stop taking their belief systems into the halls of our legislatures codifying their beliefs into laws that oppress and disenfranchise other citizens.

The reality is that these same folks would be up in arms if another faith tried to dictate by law what rights they could and couldn’t have. This is no different.

The Bible so often the favored weapon of mass destruction has for centuries been used to rob people of wealth and property. It has been used to torture, wound, maim and even kill millions of people. It has been the basis of wars and more wars. It has been used to keep many other people from equality.  It wasn't that long ago that interpretation of it supported slavery and keeping women from equal rights.

The Bible has about 24 passages that clearly support the institution of slavery. But we clearly and rightfully do know that slavery is wrong! There are far less passages (6) about gay people. Yet good people, including the many who are heirs of the horrors of slavery rush to bash and condemn LGBTQ people with the very same book that was used to legitimize the enslavement of their own ancestors.

As a Mexican-American I get this treatment from many of my own and I am so perplexed at the historical amnesia of those who abuse me with their Bible. My ancestors had Christianity forced on them by Spanish priests while the people were enslaved to the Spaniards in Mexico. After they killed off millions of my ancestors they then brought 3-5 hundred thousand Africans to Mexico for slave labor along with hundreds of thousands of Asian-Pacific Islanders.

When our own people Latinos and African-Americans wave Bibles at us to keep us from equality they support those who forced this religion on their ancestors. Africans who were abducted and forcibly brought to this country were not Christians just as my Mexican ancestors were not.

I believe all should have the right and freedom to follow the religion of their choice.  I adamantly support the rights of churches to worship as they please. But I also believe that we all have the right to be free from religion, especially when it seeks to keep a complete

group of people from equality under the law of our Constitution and the 14^th Amendment. According to those documents, we already are equal under the law.

As for marriage, it has a long and convoluted history and it was more about wealth, property and borders. Women had little say in who or if they married and none on bearing children. It was not the romance based version we have today. Furthermore, all marriages are not tied to religious rites. There are civil marriages that require no religious oversight. Also, there are many churches who want to join same sex couples in matrimony.

Our marriages in no way affect straight ones. What has happened to families and straight marriage has nothing to do with us. Instead of all these folks spending millions upon millions of dollars to HURT LGBTQ people how much more like Christ’s teaching would it be to direct those funds to help families stay together with access to marriage counseling, affordable housing, affordable health care, affordable quality childcare and living wage jobs; the real things that cause marriages to struggle. Not LGBTQ people. 

A reminder. One more time. Say it with me. Civil rights are those given by our government. Not churches.

Just sayin....