And the Thunder Rolls...

Laying abed listening to the early morning thunder rumbling, the steady booming waves of sound that are rattling my eyes open; I am struck by the thought, "Is this how some think the voice of God sounds?" And then my brain is off running down rabbit trails of thought about God(s) and those who follow.

I've often thought that organized religion has come to be a sanctuary, a seat of power for far too many who's intentions for the flock are less than altruistic. In fact I'd go so far as to say that given the history of the Christian church with its recorded truth of centuries of misdeeds that include the systematic subjugation of women and children, countless wars, torture, rape, murder, theft of property, etc. this must certainly be true. If one thinks about all of the harm committed against innocents by those in clerical garb it is easy to believe that these bastions of Christ have been regularly co-opted by self-serving sadists, pedophiles, serial killers, murderers, thieves, and war mongers blighting the true believers with their chicanery. Robed and garbed in their sanctimony they stand aloof from the suffering they've dealt, their prayers bloody utterances of doom to the unsuspecting believers reaching even beyond to those of other religious persuasions or non at all.

From these big thoughts there's another turn down the rabbit burrow leading to a smaller, select population of those whose lives have been made difficult by the bias propagated by the Christian church; lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people (LGBTQ). This group is the very last group of people that continues to be legally disenfranchised in the U.S. on the basis of religious beliefs. Our civil rights (those given by the government) continuously abridged by churches. Families, friends, employers, and many more swayed by purveyors of the "good book" standing in pulpits cherry picking the Bible as if it were an armory. With fervent exhortations these supposed people of God call on our loved ones to have faith in an unseen deity and to deny that which is tangible - the reality of our humanity and our suffering at their prayer laden hands.

Maybe it's the pouring rain, maybe the cumulative effects of the past week, but all I want to do is weep. I mourn for the countless members of this community who have been victims of one of the greatest weapons of mass destruction, the Bible. Disowned by their families, broken hearted, tortured in the hall ways of their schools, those who succumbed to addiction to self-medicate the pain, the terrified, the many who took their own lives, the many more beaten, abused and far too many murdered.

It all defies the concept of a loving God and his/her disciples. And yet, in my momentary despair I am reminded and thankful for those churches and people of faith who have rejected this holy war campaign against LGBTQ people. The many wonderful faithful who have embraced us, who tend our wounded hearts, who champion our rights. I am grateful for those churches who welcome the LGBTQ community in their midst, allowing them to remain connected to their faith. For me, Christianity stole my mother and my brothers from me for far too many years of my life. I have a hard time sitting in churches. But I don't feel that I am without spiritual comfort, my beliefs and spirituality simply do not rely on a church pew to sustain my soul.

 But even in that moment of joy the painful reality intrudes, we of the LGBTQ community are still so long from deliverance. Before this is done, there will be more bullies, more parental rejections, more suffering, more harm, more murders, more suicides all because there still remains the religious who campaign so ruthlessly, so relentlessly against our rights and it would seem, our very lives. And for the millionth time I wonder who is God really talking to? I wish I knew, but I can't say as the rumbling outside continues and there's no translation as the thunder rolls.